JKIA

When I got onto that flight 4 days ago I did not think it would be the longest flight ever. Why does going home take longer than going to uteto?
They zimaad the lights in the aircraft before landing, saying it was procedure. I figure that it was so that the controllers at JKIA will know it is an aircraft and not a ma3.

Okay let me stop.

I'm home and that is all that matters.

Bee.

I'm a material girl

Let's face it. I want a comfortable life. And I want money to pay for it. Is there a man out there who is willing to work with me to get that comfortable life? No listen, I am not talking about a Ferrrari or a villa in Italy, no nothing like that...although now that I think about it... Bear with me, seriously. We go through high school, university and sacrifice somethings along the way. Your parents and those before you have sacrificed to bring you where you are. You are where they wanted to be one day.
I recently asked if you would agree to be a house husband, have the "wife" bring the bacon home. Ladies would you be happy with that agreement? What is the partnership in money making within the family? Is the wife's household contribution equivalent to the husband's corporate job. Does it still work in reverse?
There is no lying about it, when I look at a man and a future, I wonder if he can take care of me materially. Is this a traditonal viewpoint or is this simply the animal instinct in me? What do you admit to looking for in a future lifelong mate? Our forefathers asked for a woman to have a "strong back."
What is your thing that breaks you down to your basic?

incredibly delirious

Have you ever felt it. That happiness that kicks you in the stomach and throws you to the world laughing. The birds migrated leaving a sunny day and a joy that lifts to kiss the puffy white clouds that bear my dreams.

I am happy. Seriously.

And it happened one weekend when it became clear over, Fela Kuti's music and in the darkness of my mind. I saw the flicker of a flame. I am burning with it now.

This is how I can be happy. I can not try to explain it. I shall instead sit and let the lingering spirit tickle me. Giggling like the little girl I used to be.

I also have schoolwork to do...

Duck!

My room is tidy.

But my mind feels cluttered. I tiden my room and do my laundry to clear my mind but now I have a feeling deep within that this time it will not work. Atleast not as well as it usually does.

Listening to reggae maybe it will stir something.

I like these days and I don't like these days. I like these days because they are loaded with pockets of inspiration. But they are also loaded with lots of moments of humility. My clumsiness reminds me that I have no control over anything...as much as I pretend I do, I don't.

It is easier on this days, not to fight the rain. Not to fight the bird poo that falls on me as I walk down the street. Maybe enjoy the splat sound that the poo makes as it lands on my sleeve.

I am having one of those days.

"Splat!"

Cirdan passes the stick on the left hand side

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Central Station

So I went to a gay pub the other day to sing karaoke at a competition. My friend and I, a guy went uo to sing "You're the One That I Want" from Grease. Me being Sandy, although he would have done a good impression of her, himself. We came in second place.

I have to admit that I have never seen such large amounts of affection displayed at a club. It wasn't vulgar but on the contrary it was honest. Among the first questions asked whenever I was introduced was whether I was gay, bi or straight. The men there knew what they had come for and were not hiding it in the way that they do at a straight club. Greetings were exchanged with a kiss on the cheek or lips. And I have to admit, the tension there to compete with others of my female species for the few preying men was drastically reduced. I wasn't competing for anything but the karaoke.

My friend and I had a code word "Bananas" for anytime any of us needed to get out of a "situation." I used it several times when older looking men especially, wiggled their way across the bar to stand next to me with that sly look in their eyes. He used it too when a man in a black jacket and gelled back jet black hair, slithered past after attempting conversation with my friend.

I certainly didn't use it however, when the brown sweetie came to talk to me. Hulk of muscle, brown green eyes and a tight derriere. Oh yes. Too bad he was gay. Or as my friend says "All that toast and no jam, mmmh mm mm ( finger snapping action)."

I have nominated myself a regular there. Next week I'm singing a Spice Girl's song. Any requests?

liar, liar pants on fire

I haven't told a lie in a while. Last week I told a fib about how I had food poisoning and thus missed an early morning class. I named the food "Lo Mein," the restaurant "China Kitchen." Now I can't get it off my mind that I actually lied. No really, I thought I had fleshed out that part of me that feels chicken to tell the truth yet here I was spinning an elaborate tale. I feel betrayed.

I feel I need to confess to the world but I don't have the guts to confess to my professor.

Especially not after he said it was "probably because my stomach is not used to that type of diet." Here ofcourse he was referring to my Africaness. I wanted to pound the table and tell him to stop being a fool. We actually do have Chinese restaurants in Kenya, contrary to popular belief, we don't all drink raw blood and eat maize daily.

We do however have matumbo which is cooked blood and filled with all sorts of goodness, and we do have ugali, pounded maize made into "cake." Nonetheless these are hardly staple foods.

By the way this is the same professor I mentioned in an earlier blog... He still has not kissed the bottom of my shoe.

I feel a burning

It was in the mid to late 50's that the British were raping our women and had placed then in camps to dig trenches and to starve. Because our people wanted independence. In the 50's when the US enjoyed drive - thru movies, T.V. and had Hollywood, Kenyan women would have to steal from fields to feed themselves and their children. If they were old or sick they would not eat so that the children would.
When Elvis was alive and rocking, our women were half clothed and sometimes they were naked when they were being beaten because they refused to wake up at 4am to build huts and dig trenches. They were dying from water-borne disease because on their grid-like camps they were not allowed to build sanitation infrastucture.
I feel a burning anger because our women were being raped, sodomised with bottles and left in water overnight in the open cold while Heartbreak Hotel was being shown on T.V.

It has not changed. Lord, it has not changed.

your funeral

When you die, who do you want your mother to call "my children?" Who among your friends is worthy of your mother's love?

lets talk about

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"all my life...

...I pray someone like you and I thank God that, that I finally found you..."

Aii aii, the song has ingiad! Walalala. Remember that song by K-Ci and Jo-Jo? Yaani who the hell said that that name is cool? Ati K-Ci and Jo-Jo. Kumbe his whole name is Kilowatt Clement and Josephat Jeremiah.

Hey but atleast the song is not as corny as R. Kelly's Sex in the Kitchen. Now that is a BAD song. Cheap.

Having a party at home this Friday. An 80's joint. You guys are welcome. I was going to color my hair...decided my hair is not caucasian...if I dye it wrong, it will fall off in clumps.

happy place, natural make-up and locs

I recently went to a women's spoken word concert. Beautiful. All natural, African Americans embracing their culture. They were not trying to be African, they were not trying to be anything but themselves. I was surrounded by a euphoria. They danced and read and told jokes. They sang and praised and I saw "woman."

Then I went to NY. One of the largest cities in the world. I met a diverse group of people and wondered where all the white people were.

I was surrounded by shops, restaurants and lights. I met Adam who sold paintings on the side of the road. He reminded me that it is nice to have money. It buys comfort. But it is also nice to have none but be happy wth what you do. He stopped using drugs and alcohol because of a woman he met. She didn't ask it but he decided to stop. He chose to leave his music career to sell his art. He taught this woman to paint. And how to speak English.

I also met Mirella. She had lost her son the week before and she told me that every mother prays to God each night to take care of her children. Each mother has a space in her heart for her children. She told me that when her father died it broke her heart. When her son died she had no heart. She was working to keep from getting depressed.

I saw young woman, lover, mother, traveller. I saw woman and I loved her throughout.

total recall

A man turned me on today. Not by by how he looked or by how he talked but by his sheer imagination. I met the designer of a BMW model for Alpine Electronics. The machine looked much like something out of a Sci-Fi. Sliding doors, central steering wheel, titanium inside with two centrally placed seats, and speakers all over the interior. http://www.alpine-usa.com/ click on BMW 5X. It wasn't the machine but the fact that in his mind, he saw this machine. He asked me what I thought of the machine.

"It's scary."
"Scary? I see what you mean...it is kind of aggressive."
"No...it's not aggressive. It's scary."
"Why?"
"It is kind of like a scary look into the future. Have you watched Total Recall?"

I am still astounded by his talent. It wasn't the car but the fact that he saw it in his mind.

It makes me wonder about myself. How much of my talent am I stiffling by saying that there are other things to be done? By saying that first I need to attain this or that degree, to get through school, to make time.

When will this time that I am making come? I don't fit into this mold. What I am doing now is not what I was meant to be. There is more to me. It burns and it hurts.

Why am I afraid of it? That it will consume me and make me visibly crazy outside as I am inside. I know I have this thing inside and I let it drive me crazy. So I sit. Watching it. Watching me. Watching time.

The man turned me on. He turned me on.

men beware!!

This was too funny a story to pass up. She must be a Nyeri woman. Girl power!!!Whoooooohoooo!!! Adds flavor to what I usually say is the best punishment. Cut off his testicles and super glue them to his forehead!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/africa/3655190.stm

I apologise for the violent content of this particular blog...too much coke, too late at night.

lady

I love my job sometimes. I just talked to a lady about Bloomingdales. She told me about her son who met a Filipino girl and got engaged 3 weeks ago. We talked about Turkey her home country and she told me about her survival from breast cancer. I loved her in an instant. She sat down asking for directions to Bloomingdales (1hr 16 mins away) and I loved her in that instant. I hugged her at the end of the conversation. I feel like crying. I feel so happy.

it goes on

I guess the FIFA president in not alone in wanting sexier female football players:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/africa/4332715.stm

I still think that the male soccer players (Baggio again) should wear net vests so that we can see their pulsating "muscules" and leopard print undies so that we can see their swollen... I'll let you think on that.

Bob and his women

Maybe what Bob did with the women is the true meaning of "One Love."

I am.

I am lucky to have the comforts that I do. God has got nothing to do with it. I would say I am blessed by God but I know he has nothing to do with it.

If he blessed me then he cursed those who do not have what I have. I do not have what others have because really I have no need for those things.

Therefore I am not lucky. I merely have what I need.

When will I then be grateful that my wants are fulfilled. To whom should I be grateful to, if God has got nothing to do with it.

castaway

I'm back from my dhow trip down the Mississippi. I wasn't looking for it but I had to post this:
Cat survives 10-mile trip on top of car Motorist alerts owner of 'Cuddle Bug's' precarious position
The Associated Press
Updated: 1:48 p.m. ET March 4, 2005
INKOM, Idaho - Torri Hutchinson's cat might just have one less life to live. Hutchison was driving along Interstate 15 one day recently when a motorist kept trying to get her attention and pointing to the roof of her car.
She said she was wary of the man, but wondered if perhaps her ski rack might have come loose.
She pulled over to the side, but kept her doors locked and the motor running.
The man pulled up behind her. Hutchinson rolled down her window to hear the man frantically shouting, "Your cat! Your cat!"
He reached for the roof of her car and handed the shocked Hutchinson her orange tabby.
She had driven about 10 miles with the cat on top of the car, and didn't even notice the feline when she stopped for gas.
Hutchinson said Cuddle Bug, or C.B. for short, had climbed into the back of her car as she was getting ready to leave. She put him out, but he must have jumped on the roof while she wasn't looking, she said.
© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7088318/?GT1=6305
It kinda reminds me of my life...I would be the cat in the story.

so line up your soldiers coz...

...Alicia rules the world!! It has been a while since I heard this song. Always makes me feel like the chick in army fatigue, war paint, lip gloss and a manicure.

Did I ever tell you about my Professor who despite all his knowledge thinks Kenya does not have sky scrappers hence why it is easier to see the sun rise and set. Or has no knowledge about Mwalimu Julius Nyerere, philosopher king, yet my Professor teaches a course on " The Republic" Plato and "Utopia" by Sir Thomas More? Or while talking about paradise, I talked about the similarity to many Kenyan desciptions of paradise and he said it is probably because it is not that developed. Or when he asked me about when I came to the US because my English is so good.

See my shoe?

The underside of it?

Yes right there.

Kiss it, Sir.