that one moment

You stand outside.
Black velvet sky lit by millions of stars.
The air is still.
Filled with the smell of burning firewood.

You are too far from the city to hear the cars

Too far for your eyes to be blinded by the lights
that promise false security.

ALL you have is that star filled sky and the crickets in the bush.

The silence is stabbed by their chirping.
You are small.

You are the speck of the furthest star you see.

You are so small.

That one moment.

I want to do it standing

I had a nice New Years. A sober one. As I mulled over my cranberry juice and chilled with my friend J7.

Stood in a crowd of "Atlantians" and watched a peach drop. Yes. A peach. Then I hugged everyone I came across and hurled insults across the street. I screamed Happy New Year to any and everyone. Until I lost my voice. I was waiting to get shot.

I even learned how to say Happy New Year in Spanish. I won't write it lest I slaughter the language.
I also can now say "Stupido" thanks to the gracious Latina who taught me how to tell her boyfriend the word...teeehehe

The cranberry juice wound itself down to my bladder fast and since we were using the metro, it could only go as far as my bladder. J7 was in the same predicament but managed to sneak behind bushes. Aaahh Adrienne Rich. Woman doing woman. Simone Beauvoir, you are not born a woman...

I want to piss standing. I know I can. But sadly my tight jeans and pretty panties were not made with a hole. Unlike men's. The whole affair of pissing in bushes takes too long and it can be tricky. Especially with your butt being swiped by the crisp winter air. Then you have to stand and wiggle the jeans on again. Short of tripping and falling into the light with the jeans still wrapped around your ankles. Too much. I'll hold it.

Vent.

I stood staring into the darkness at the bush which was J7's relief, hoping that it would speak to me and say "Go ahead."

2006. You are not going to restrict me.

Watch out.